is nice. it is a nice new job. the people are nice and the work is nice and the pay is nice. i do not get to make myself free frappuccinos but i guess i wasn't really allowed to do that anyway, so not a lot has changed except now i come home smelling like soybean meal instead of stale mocha. this is a change i have learned to accept.
i have noticed lately that i have little to no sense of reality. when i get upset, "in one of my moods", i notice this more. it is as if i am not occupying my entire body; i am just a itsy portion looking out through the cocoon of another person. but lately i have realized that it is more than that. i neither think nor care about the future, consequences, or how my life will be affected which i guess means the same thing as consequences but whatever. i suppose it could be called apathy but that word has such a negative connotation.
it is more like something i am too lazy to remember the word for but which i will call "antipasto" which is the italian word for appetizers and a word that i happen to like very much.
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