harrumph

i was about to type what happened to day but i can't even type it. because it makes me start thinking and then i starting getting so sad, it was such a sad thing to happen.

i will try to hint at it.

there was a family of little ducks, a mama and 9 or 10 ducklings, and they were crossing the road and OH! i can't. my soul hurts.

i haven't cried yet, but i suppose i will. the loss of any life, no matter how small, is still a loss. i must be a terribly strong person to feel so deeply, yet still relish in my existence.

i am not studying for my finals or working on my final papers because i am sick and i am sad. i am thinking about transferring schools because i don't know if i like purdue, but at the same time, i don't know if i don't like purdue. and i just got into this co-op house, so maybe that will make next year great. but what if it makes next year awful? i guess i am just lonely because all my closest friends here are really flaky people. so it makes me feel like none of them want to see me. i know i deserve to be seen, because i know i am a fun person who can make them smile. but it makes me sad, and when i am sad, then. i am sad.

oh me oh my.