this weekend

is my one-year anniversary. isn't that weird? i have no sense of time anymore.

and i'm lonely.

my creative class

is still pointless. we had an assignment for erotic poety, but i will decline to share that... for now.



May 24, 2008

"Have you told her what you did with me?"
swung full-force at my face as
"No, I can't, I'm so sorry for everything,"
dug its claws into my skin and burrowed,
seeping into my bloodstream to poison each cell of my body.
An apology? To a girl who helped you cheat on me?
With a terse, "Whatever, don't cheat on your girlfriend in front of her,"
She hopped out of your life, and you out of hers,
leaving me stuck to remember you both.

i wrote this

for my creative writing class, which happens to be the biggest joke of a class in, um, the world. so i don't try very hard. guess what it's about.


At Six They Bring Breakfast

The ceiling is a battleground of electric emotion:
Greedy, encroaching CAPITAL LETTERS invade the territories of timid, fragile pleas for help,
letting no inch over my cot be spared from their conflict of obscenities and misspellings.
A pencil stub, the complacent messenger, sits inquiringly at the head of my mattress
offering his service if I feel a need to likewise join the fray -
leave my never-ending graphite smear on the icy concrete of infinity.
But for this second I am ignoring them all
to continue my staring contest with the security camera above me.
I blink first, but we're both up for another round -
We lay exercising our right to remain silent under a deafening battle overhead.

i have a lot of stuff to think about

and i have been thinking about a lot of stuff but i never reach any conclusions. i always need more info, more time, more evidence, another reason. what is this about? where did this come from?

ignore the ambiguity - this is me thinking through keys.

guess who is in a bad mood.

but does it really matter? we're all so young but feel so old and none of us have learned anything. and maybe we never do. maybe life's lesson is to quit looking and shut up for once.

i do not deal well with not getting my way.

so this weekend

was amazing. the beauty of being together still outweights the pain of being apart.

plus there was this john mayer concert, free 15th row tickets, it's no big deal or anything.

when this job is over

i never want to see soybean meal ever, ever again.

actions speak louder than words but both have kept quiet lately.